the worst of me

have u ever feel u donesomething wrong?
have u ever feel that u shudnt be in tis world?

i do

i felt that if i wasn't born, everything will be just fine.
i know it is silly and stupid......
but i felt like a black sheep in the house, a burden to my frens and the worst part i hurt ppl that i love the most.

i'm not looking for sympathy or self-pity.
i think i am strong enough to still walk and stand up and do my thing.
but i'm still fragile and weak inside.
i cried, scream, shout, all the stupid things that i cud do.
to release my emotions.
there is so many "but" in my mind.
i always could find an excuse or a reason for everything.
i`m not denying or not facing the fact.
i`m just looking for all the possibilities.
i grown so much
how i see things, it is just unusual
in tis point i`m numb
i just dun know how to say or even explain
i dun dun even know wat to do next..

i blame myself......for everything.....

finally i could be happy but end up shatter a piece of paper wit my own hands.

i felt the worst of me.
that i was the bad guy......